April 2, 1996
Love Vampires in The City
Bill Mann
Spelling sinks his teeth into new soap set in San Francisco
If you’ve ever felt the scripts on “Melrose Place” needed more teeth, has producer Aaron Spelling ever got a new series for you.
Fox’s “Kindred: The Embraced” premieres as a 90-minute movie Tuesday night at 9 on KTVU-Channel 2. Alas, this is the second awful TV series set in The City to premiere this week; Don Johnson’s toll-taking cop show “Nash Bridges” debuted Friday. “Kindred: The Embraced” airs a second time Wednesday, in its regular 9 p.m. time spot, replacing another set-in S.F. series, “Party of Five.” This new one might be called “Party of Jive.”
Schlockmeister Spelling’s last show set in San Francisco, you may recall, was the substandard “Hotel,” starring distinguished eyebrow actor James Brolin and future infommercial star Connie “Mrs. Tesh” Selecca as managers of a Fairmont-like establishment.
This time it’s stylish, oversexed vampires roaming the streets and salons of The City. None of those unwieldy Transylvanian accents here, vows series creator John Leekley, adding, “All that gothic, Victorian stuff is gone.”
No, Spelling and his crack creative team are always looking for fresh new settings in which vulgarity and
tackiness can flourish. “Kindred” has these . . . and so much more!
Tuesday’s premiere opens with one of the ubiquitous S.F. vampires – they date back to Gold Rush daysbut have somehow managed to escape the attention of the SFPD – having a stake driven through his heart on a rooftop. The poor guy bursts into flames as a helicopter shot pans up to a San Francisco backdrop. Now THAT’S creativity!
One diligent S.F. cop, Det. Frank Kohanek (C. Thomas Howell, of “The Hitcher” ), is getting mighty suspicious of all these strange, century-old goings-on. Stakes through hearts . . . murder victims drained of blood . . . guys with Lugosi-like ‘dos. Hmm.
Mark Frankel ( “Sisters” ) looms over the five San Francisco vampire “clans” as overlord. He’s a slippery – looking guy named Julian Luna (as in moon) who lives up in Pacific Heights and weekends in the Napa Valley in order to visit (actually, lie atop) vampire relatives’ graves.
Since you wouldn’t want to miss the gripping particulars of one of the most contrived series in recent TVhistory, here’s a primer:
A “Kindred” is someone who was once human (think Phil Gramm), but has been “Embraced” by another Kindred (a cool-looking S.F. vampire). And “embracing” here means a Kindred removes the human’s blood, replacing it with Kindred blood. (Blood-exchange as an entertainment element in a series set in SanFrancisco goes a bit beyond bad taste.)
But there’s an upside. Even if you do receive one of these involuntary, Keith Richards-like blood replacements, you get to join one of several cool vampire clans. There’s a Kennedy-like blueblood – pardon the expression – clan; a mobster clan; a young, hip clan, etc.
And these clans have one thing in common: When a human is “Embraced” by one of the clans, says Fox’s press handout, “they become part of a world of heightened expression, color and sexuality. . . . their ids are set free.”
In other words, all this vampire stuff is included basically so Spelling can show lots of hardbodies having steamy TV sex. These kids can’t help climbing in the sack every few minutes. It’s in their blood!
And just in case you aren’t straight on who’s a Kindred and who’s not, just check out the glowing contact lenses. If a character begins to look like an extra from “Village of the Damned” and starts humming “You’re So Vein,” better watch out!
In one scene Tuesday set in an elegant S.F. restaurant, a smartly dressed blonde excuses herself to go to the powder room. Her blue eyes start to glow. That lady nearby touching up her mascara is in big trouble. This elegant Kindred returns to her dinner – raw steak, of course – and her silver Dior number is sullied by a speck of blood. Her dinner companion, Det. Kohanek, doesn’t notice. He just wants to end up in the sack with this vampire vamp. And – quelle surprise! – he does.
It’s hard to say if “Kindred: The Embraced” is sillier than it is vulgar and tasteless. No matter. Considering its vampire premise and dimbulb writing, Spelling may well have another hit on his hands.
